i've been having an affair

Baby, I have a confession.

I know you’ve been suspecting something like this for a while. And I’d like to say you’re wrong, that you’ve been imagining things. But you know I’d be lying, and I love you too much to lie to you, baby. So here it is.

I’ve been seeing someone else.

I know. Don’t think I don’t feel miserable about it. It started out simple enough. We met on the internet. I thought I could keep it under control. We were just supposed to see each other now and then. Every two weeks, actually. On fridays, for forty-five minutes. However, it quickly got out of hand. She demanded a lot of me, and I couldn’t say no. It was every week for a while, now almost every day. Sometimes for several hours at a time. I can’t keep away.
You two have a lot in common, you know. I’m sure if you met you’d be friends. She’s not as complicated as you, not as intellectual. Don’t take that the wrong way. You know what I mean. Yes, I suppose you could say it’s mostly physical. But that’s no small thing. You each satisfy a different part of me.

What does she look like? Well, here, I have a picture.

the other woman

That birds-eye maple and tortoise-shell just knocks me out.

What’s that? You think she’s cute too? Um… you want to what?

Is that French?